[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.People get mad with me a lot." She gigglesdeprecatingly.Remorse bites him."Do you pick up any, ah, emanations from thisplace?""I certainly do, Doctor Dann.I'll tell you something.This place is aportal.There's a presence here.You felt it this afternoon, that was aprojection from the spirit plane."The language of mysticism.He imagines her giving seances, fortunereadings."Did you ever think of going into business as an, uh, medium?""Oh, I'm too erratic.You see, my gift comes and goes.And I couldn'tpretend.""I see." His own gift of chemical tranquillity is going fast.Thank Godthey're almost at the barracks.The roadway is empty, no cars are parkedoutside.Music is coming from a group sitting on the front steps: Rick'sradio."Thank you, Doctor Dann." Winona reaches up and pats jerkily at hisupper arm before she toddles on.It's Ted Yost, Costakis, and Rick on the steps.Rick turns a glum face toDann and says listlessly, "Somebody went through our stuff.""What do you mean?" Dann's hand goes involuntarily to his breastpocket, touches the kit."The place got searched while we were eating," Costakis says in hissneering tone. Dann is frantically reviewing the plausibility of the supplies in his bag."Did they take anything? How do you know?""My smokes," says Rick."It was in my right sneaker.It moved.And Ithink they opened this." He holds up the radio."The battery case was inwrong.Clowns.""Checking electronics," Costakis says wisely.Dann can't help noticinghow he is perched apart from the other two.Ever on the fringe.Ted Yost sighs."I think I'll take a walk."The door bursts open above them and Noah charges out."Somebodyhas unplugged half our equipment! Everything's moved around," heexplodes."Really, what extraordianary people.Chris, can you help me sortit out?""Check."Dann hurries to his room.His bag seems to be intact but his otherpossessions look vaguely different.Have strangers been through? He can'tbe sure.Absurd.He sits on the cot with a capsule in his hand, noticing that the forestbeyond the barracks looks quite lovely in the sunset light.Like the woodsof his Wisconsin boyhood.Golden spotlights are picking out the floatingdelicacy of birches, the shadowy oak-trunks, the ferns and moss-cushions.Why do I need this stuff, he thinks.Why can't I take it? All these others,Rick, Costakis, Winona, each in their private misery without relief.TedYost.What kind of selfish coward am I?As so many times before the resolve to throw away his chemicalcrutches wells up in him.Quitting would be physically rough, but hebelieves he can take that.But then to go on, to face the daily reality of life,the assaults of pain, to toTo remember. And as he gazes at the woods, the sunset rays turn rose and red liketorches behind the trees, lighting them into dark silhouettes against thefiery sky.Fingers of fire his gut lurches, he clenches his eyes, gasping,and fumbles the capsule into his mouth.That's why.Yes, I'm a coward.Shaking, he goes to the latrine for water, grateful only for his access torelief.How many of the others would resist, if they had this escape fromthe pain of their lives? He only knows he cannot.When he comes out the flaming light has faded.Rick's transistor isplaying somewhere, but no one is in sight.Dann strolls around to the pool and finds the two girls in the water again.He sits down to watch.Fredericka Frodo attacks the water with her scrawny arms, thrashingalong like a spider.Beside her Valerie swims effortlessly.The warmevening light lingers, harmless now.Presently they climb out and comeover to Dann, sharing a towel.Frodo goes through her solicitous routineand sits beside Val on the grass.Their smiles, their every gesture, sayMine.We two together.Unwelcomely the intuition of their vulnerability comes to Dann.Tocherish, to defend their little fortress of union.To love, in the face of theworld's mores and the threat of every egotistical male.So fragile.As Val combs her hair the two of them start humming, glancing at himmischievously.Presently their voices rise in harmony, parodying an oldridiculous tune."You are my sunshine, my only sunshine "It's a lovely moment; the sweet mocking voices touch him dangerously.When the song ends he can only say roughly, "I wouldn't sit on that grasstoo long, Frodo.""Why not?""Chiggers." He explains the curse of the South and Frodo scrambles intoa chair.There is a pause in which a wood-thrush gurgles and trills."Doctor Dann," Valerie says, "you won't let them do anything to us, willyou?"Behind her Frodo's dark eyes are peering intently at him out of hermonkey face.It comes to Dann that he's being asked a real question."What do you mean, do something to you?""Like, keep us here if we do it.""Control our heads," Frodo adds."Use drugs on us, maybe.""What on earth for?""So we'd do what they want," Valerie explains."Be, be like telephonesfor them.I mean, if they really want this submarine thing.""Good heavens!" Dann chuckles."Why, no one you've been reading toomany thrillers.""You honestly, truly think it's all right?" Val persists."I assure you.Why, this is the U.S.navy.I mean " He doesn't knowwhat he means, only to assuage the fear in her eyes."Nobody would miss us," says Frodo in a low voice."Not one of us.I checked.None of us has anybody waiting outside.""Goodness.Now, look, you mustn't worry about such nonsense.I giveyou my solemn word."Val smiles, the trust in her eyes momentarily pierces him.His solemnword, what does that mean? But it has to be all right, he thinks.After all,Noah Catledge"It's not just the Navy," Frodo says."That Major Fearing isn't in theNavy.He despises us.""Aren't you being just a little, ah.""No, he really does." Valerie's eyes have clouded again."He hates us.""I don't see how his likes or dislikes could be a threat to you," Dann sayssoothingly."I do." Frodo stares at him over Val's head and draws her finger acrossher throat."I bet he'd hate having his mind read." Her tone is light butshe's scowling ferociously, willing him to understand.Dann recalls his brush with Fearing, that intensely covert man.His auraof secret power, the invisible fortifications of self.Trust nobody, withholdeverything; classic anal type.Frodo is perfectly right; for a man likeFearing to have his mind read would be traumatic.A terrible threat.Dannchuckles, disregarding some subterranean unease.Could Fearing besnooping about to check on Kirk's enterprise? Comical!"I really wouldn't worry," he says so warmly and firmly he quite believesit."After all, he can't do away with me."The girls smile back and they chat of other things.But under thesurface Dann has an instant of wondering.What could he do if themilitary decided to treat these people as resources, conscript them insome way? If he had to make some protest, who would listen? Nobody,especially after one look through his prescription records.For that matter,who would miss him if he never showed up again? But this is crazy, he tells himself.And sanity returns with theconclusive answer: It's all nonsense because tomorrow nothing willhappen.Nothing ever has.This test will turn out like all the rest,ambiguous at best.He hopes it's ambiguous for old Noah's sake.Butunseen voices are not going to come out of that submarine, this ragtag ofpeople is not able to read secrets out of anybody's mind.They've got himas crazy as old Noah with his blue lizard science fiction.Relieved, his smile strengthens.Valerie is telling him how she's working as a junior nurse while Frodo starts law school at Maryland U.The visionof Frodo as a lawyer diverts him [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl matkasanepid.xlx.pl
.People get mad with me a lot." She gigglesdeprecatingly.Remorse bites him."Do you pick up any, ah, emanations from thisplace?""I certainly do, Doctor Dann.I'll tell you something.This place is aportal.There's a presence here.You felt it this afternoon, that was aprojection from the spirit plane."The language of mysticism.He imagines her giving seances, fortunereadings."Did you ever think of going into business as an, uh, medium?""Oh, I'm too erratic.You see, my gift comes and goes.And I couldn'tpretend.""I see." His own gift of chemical tranquillity is going fast.Thank Godthey're almost at the barracks.The roadway is empty, no cars are parkedoutside.Music is coming from a group sitting on the front steps: Rick'sradio."Thank you, Doctor Dann." Winona reaches up and pats jerkily at hisupper arm before she toddles on.It's Ted Yost, Costakis, and Rick on the steps.Rick turns a glum face toDann and says listlessly, "Somebody went through our stuff.""What do you mean?" Dann's hand goes involuntarily to his breastpocket, touches the kit."The place got searched while we were eating," Costakis says in hissneering tone. Dann is frantically reviewing the plausibility of the supplies in his bag."Did they take anything? How do you know?""My smokes," says Rick."It was in my right sneaker.It moved.And Ithink they opened this." He holds up the radio."The battery case was inwrong.Clowns.""Checking electronics," Costakis says wisely.Dann can't help noticinghow he is perched apart from the other two.Ever on the fringe.Ted Yost sighs."I think I'll take a walk."The door bursts open above them and Noah charges out."Somebodyhas unplugged half our equipment! Everything's moved around," heexplodes."Really, what extraordianary people.Chris, can you help me sortit out?""Check."Dann hurries to his room.His bag seems to be intact but his otherpossessions look vaguely different.Have strangers been through? He can'tbe sure.Absurd.He sits on the cot with a capsule in his hand, noticing that the forestbeyond the barracks looks quite lovely in the sunset light.Like the woodsof his Wisconsin boyhood.Golden spotlights are picking out the floatingdelicacy of birches, the shadowy oak-trunks, the ferns and moss-cushions.Why do I need this stuff, he thinks.Why can't I take it? All these others,Rick, Costakis, Winona, each in their private misery without relief.TedYost.What kind of selfish coward am I?As so many times before the resolve to throw away his chemicalcrutches wells up in him.Quitting would be physically rough, but hebelieves he can take that.But then to go on, to face the daily reality of life,the assaults of pain, to toTo remember. And as he gazes at the woods, the sunset rays turn rose and red liketorches behind the trees, lighting them into dark silhouettes against thefiery sky.Fingers of fire his gut lurches, he clenches his eyes, gasping,and fumbles the capsule into his mouth.That's why.Yes, I'm a coward.Shaking, he goes to the latrine for water, grateful only for his access torelief.How many of the others would resist, if they had this escape fromthe pain of their lives? He only knows he cannot.When he comes out the flaming light has faded.Rick's transistor isplaying somewhere, but no one is in sight.Dann strolls around to the pool and finds the two girls in the water again.He sits down to watch.Fredericka Frodo attacks the water with her scrawny arms, thrashingalong like a spider.Beside her Valerie swims effortlessly.The warmevening light lingers, harmless now.Presently they climb out and comeover to Dann, sharing a towel.Frodo goes through her solicitous routineand sits beside Val on the grass.Their smiles, their every gesture, sayMine.We two together.Unwelcomely the intuition of their vulnerability comes to Dann.Tocherish, to defend their little fortress of union.To love, in the face of theworld's mores and the threat of every egotistical male.So fragile.As Val combs her hair the two of them start humming, glancing at himmischievously.Presently their voices rise in harmony, parodying an oldridiculous tune."You are my sunshine, my only sunshine "It's a lovely moment; the sweet mocking voices touch him dangerously.When the song ends he can only say roughly, "I wouldn't sit on that grasstoo long, Frodo.""Why not?""Chiggers." He explains the curse of the South and Frodo scrambles intoa chair.There is a pause in which a wood-thrush gurgles and trills."Doctor Dann," Valerie says, "you won't let them do anything to us, willyou?"Behind her Frodo's dark eyes are peering intently at him out of hermonkey face.It comes to Dann that he's being asked a real question."What do you mean, do something to you?""Like, keep us here if we do it.""Control our heads," Frodo adds."Use drugs on us, maybe.""What on earth for?""So we'd do what they want," Valerie explains."Be, be like telephonesfor them.I mean, if they really want this submarine thing.""Good heavens!" Dann chuckles."Why, no one you've been reading toomany thrillers.""You honestly, truly think it's all right?" Val persists."I assure you.Why, this is the U.S.navy.I mean " He doesn't knowwhat he means, only to assuage the fear in her eyes."Nobody would miss us," says Frodo in a low voice."Not one of us.I checked.None of us has anybody waiting outside.""Goodness.Now, look, you mustn't worry about such nonsense.I giveyou my solemn word."Val smiles, the trust in her eyes momentarily pierces him.His solemnword, what does that mean? But it has to be all right, he thinks.After all,Noah Catledge"It's not just the Navy," Frodo says."That Major Fearing isn't in theNavy.He despises us.""Aren't you being just a little, ah.""No, he really does." Valerie's eyes have clouded again."He hates us.""I don't see how his likes or dislikes could be a threat to you," Dann sayssoothingly."I do." Frodo stares at him over Val's head and draws her finger acrossher throat."I bet he'd hate having his mind read." Her tone is light butshe's scowling ferociously, willing him to understand.Dann recalls his brush with Fearing, that intensely covert man.His auraof secret power, the invisible fortifications of self.Trust nobody, withholdeverything; classic anal type.Frodo is perfectly right; for a man likeFearing to have his mind read would be traumatic.A terrible threat.Dannchuckles, disregarding some subterranean unease.Could Fearing besnooping about to check on Kirk's enterprise? Comical!"I really wouldn't worry," he says so warmly and firmly he quite believesit."After all, he can't do away with me."The girls smile back and they chat of other things.But under thesurface Dann has an instant of wondering.What could he do if themilitary decided to treat these people as resources, conscript them insome way? If he had to make some protest, who would listen? Nobody,especially after one look through his prescription records.For that matter,who would miss him if he never showed up again? But this is crazy, he tells himself.And sanity returns with theconclusive answer: It's all nonsense because tomorrow nothing willhappen.Nothing ever has.This test will turn out like all the rest,ambiguous at best.He hopes it's ambiguous for old Noah's sake.Butunseen voices are not going to come out of that submarine, this ragtag ofpeople is not able to read secrets out of anybody's mind.They've got himas crazy as old Noah with his blue lizard science fiction.Relieved, his smile strengthens.Valerie is telling him how she's working as a junior nurse while Frodo starts law school at Maryland U.The visionof Frodo as a lawyer diverts him [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]