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. Feminine Intuition, Book Shelver said. An intriguing andthought-provoking story. I always thought so, Asimov said. It was only natural that Susan Calvinwould consider PeterBogert her boss over me.And only natural that her programming had in it morethan response-initiative, and that was what had caused her dilemma.The FirstLaw didn t allow Susan to leave me, but an even stronger force was compellingher to go. Susan looked at Peter, who put his hand on her shoulder. What could be stronger than the First Law? Book Shelver said. The secretary who designed Augmented Secretary unconsciously contaminatedSusan s programming with one of her own responses, a response that was onlynatural after thirty-eight years with one employer, and one strong enough tooverride even hardwaring. He paused for dramatic effect. She was obviouslyin love with her boss. Maureen Birnbaum After Dark by Betsy Spiegelman Fein(as told to George Alec Effinger)ABOUT TWO MONTHS AFTER SHE BARGED INTO MY honeymoon with Josh, Maureen showedup again.My jaw no longer hurt where she d cracked me, but I still recalledhow nearly impossible it had been to explain to my new husband what thistotally unkempt barbarian girl in chain mail was doing in our hotel suite.Imean, it was our wedding night and all.Josh had just carried me across thethreshold, and I d gone into the bathroom to freshen up, and there she was, God s Gift to the Golden Horde, Muffy herself She spookedJosh out of his socks when she stormed out of the bathroom and through thefront door.Josh s jaw dropped to his knees, okay? I couldn t get his mindback on honeymoon activities for two or three hours.Maureen has caused me alot of grief over the years, but spoiling my wedding night takes the cake.Iwas never going to speak to her as long as I lived.Only she showed up again with another of her crummy adventures.I was tryingto make this strawberry cheese quiche from scratch for the first time.I wentinto the pantry to get something, and there she was.She likes to startle me,I think.Her idea of a cool joke.See, I m twenty-two and settled now, butMaureen looks exactly the same way she did as a junior at the GreenbergSchool.She thinks like a high school kid, too.So I give this little yipe ofsurprise when I see her, and then I go, Out!Page 64 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlOut! She smiled at me like nothing weird had ever happened between us, and she cameout of my pantry chewing on a handful of sugar-coated cereal.I frowned at herand go, I didn t mean just out of the pantry.I want you out of the house, like now. I was edged, for sure. Hold on, Bitsy, she goes, you haven t even heard my latest story. And I m notBitsy any more, I go. You don t want to be called Muffy, I don t want to becalled Bitsy.I m grown up now.Call me Betsy or Elizabeth.That s what Josh calls me.Elizabeth. She laughed. And where is dear Josh today? I don t want to totally blow himaway again or anything. He s seeing patients this afternoon. Good, goes Maureen, then you can knock off for a little while and listen. I m not going to listen, sister.I ve got work to do.Why don t you find apsychoanalyst to listen to you? It would do you like just so much good. Ha ha, she goes, ignoring everything I said to her.Then she started tellingme this story whether I wanted to hear it or not, and Ididn t want to hear it.I think she thought we were still friends.You remember the last time I bopped by, I told you all about this battle inthe far future I won like singlehanded, okay? [As stirringly recounted in Maureen Birnbaum on the Art of War, inFriends of theHorseclans, edited by Robert Adams and Pamela Crippen Adams (Signet, 1987).] So after I left you and your darling doctor hubby in Bermuda, I decided towhush on out of your honeymoon suite and try to find Mars again.Mars is, youknow, my destiny, and where I met that totally bluff Prince Van.I was stilldrooling like a schoolgirl over him, and I d been dying to run into him again.But I just kept missing Mars, and I couldn t figure out what I was doingwrong.Maybe it was my follow-through, or I wasn t keeping my head down orsomething.I just didn t understand how I was messing up.Anyway, from down by your hotel s pool I aimed at Mars, but I landed someplacethat didn t look anything like the part of Mars I knew: no ocher dead seabottom, no hurtling moons, no bizarro green men.Ijumped up and down a couple of times to see if maybe it felt like Martiangravity, but no such luck.Good olMaureen wasn t going to have any help carrying around her heroinely poundagehere.Matter of fact, I was just a teensy bit heftier in this place than onEarth.Right off, I figured wherever this was, it wasn t going to make myshort list of fave vacation spots.MyGod, like who needs a complimentary gift of an extra fifteen pounds to lugaround, know what I mean?I was disappointed, but so what else is new? If these thrilling exploits ofmine have taught me one thing, it s that you can t always get what you want.Yeah, you re right, Bitsy, Mick Jagger said the same thing entire decades ago,Page 65 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlbut I don t get my wisdom from ancient song stylists of our parentsgeneration.The first thing I do when I dew hush in one of these weirdo places is try tosort out the ground rules, cause they re always different.It pays to findout up front if you re likely to be scarfed down for lunch by some hairballmonster, or worshiped as the reincarnation of Joan Crawford or something.Between you and me, sweetie, being worshiped is only marginally better thandeath, but we savage warrior women won taccept either treatment.You must ve learned that much from me by now, and Ihope you ve let your Josh know all about it.Bitsy, can I get something to drink out of your fridge? I mean, I just gotback from saving the civilization of an entire world from destruction, and I mdying for a Tab.Jeez, you don t have any Tab, and you used to be Miss DietBubbles of Greater Long Island [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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. Feminine Intuition, Book Shelver said. An intriguing andthought-provoking story. I always thought so, Asimov said. It was only natural that Susan Calvinwould consider PeterBogert her boss over me.And only natural that her programming had in it morethan response-initiative, and that was what had caused her dilemma.The FirstLaw didn t allow Susan to leave me, but an even stronger force was compellingher to go. Susan looked at Peter, who put his hand on her shoulder. What could be stronger than the First Law? Book Shelver said. The secretary who designed Augmented Secretary unconsciously contaminatedSusan s programming with one of her own responses, a response that was onlynatural after thirty-eight years with one employer, and one strong enough tooverride even hardwaring. He paused for dramatic effect. She was obviouslyin love with her boss. Maureen Birnbaum After Dark by Betsy Spiegelman Fein(as told to George Alec Effinger)ABOUT TWO MONTHS AFTER SHE BARGED INTO MY honeymoon with Josh, Maureen showedup again.My jaw no longer hurt where she d cracked me, but I still recalledhow nearly impossible it had been to explain to my new husband what thistotally unkempt barbarian girl in chain mail was doing in our hotel suite.Imean, it was our wedding night and all.Josh had just carried me across thethreshold, and I d gone into the bathroom to freshen up, and there she was, God s Gift to the Golden Horde, Muffy herself She spookedJosh out of his socks when she stormed out of the bathroom and through thefront door.Josh s jaw dropped to his knees, okay? I couldn t get his mindback on honeymoon activities for two or three hours.Maureen has caused me alot of grief over the years, but spoiling my wedding night takes the cake.Iwas never going to speak to her as long as I lived.Only she showed up again with another of her crummy adventures.I was tryingto make this strawberry cheese quiche from scratch for the first time.I wentinto the pantry to get something, and there she was.She likes to startle me,I think.Her idea of a cool joke.See, I m twenty-two and settled now, butMaureen looks exactly the same way she did as a junior at the GreenbergSchool.She thinks like a high school kid, too.So I give this little yipe ofsurprise when I see her, and then I go, Out!Page 64 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlOut! She smiled at me like nothing weird had ever happened between us, and she cameout of my pantry chewing on a handful of sugar-coated cereal.I frowned at herand go, I didn t mean just out of the pantry.I want you out of the house, like now. I was edged, for sure. Hold on, Bitsy, she goes, you haven t even heard my latest story. And I m notBitsy any more, I go. You don t want to be called Muffy, I don t want to becalled Bitsy.I m grown up now.Call me Betsy or Elizabeth.That s what Josh calls me.Elizabeth. She laughed. And where is dear Josh today? I don t want to totally blow himaway again or anything. He s seeing patients this afternoon. Good, goes Maureen, then you can knock off for a little while and listen. I m not going to listen, sister.I ve got work to do.Why don t you find apsychoanalyst to listen to you? It would do you like just so much good. Ha ha, she goes, ignoring everything I said to her.Then she started tellingme this story whether I wanted to hear it or not, and Ididn t want to hear it.I think she thought we were still friends.You remember the last time I bopped by, I told you all about this battle inthe far future I won like singlehanded, okay? [As stirringly recounted in Maureen Birnbaum on the Art of War, inFriends of theHorseclans, edited by Robert Adams and Pamela Crippen Adams (Signet, 1987).] So after I left you and your darling doctor hubby in Bermuda, I decided towhush on out of your honeymoon suite and try to find Mars again.Mars is, youknow, my destiny, and where I met that totally bluff Prince Van.I was stilldrooling like a schoolgirl over him, and I d been dying to run into him again.But I just kept missing Mars, and I couldn t figure out what I was doingwrong.Maybe it was my follow-through, or I wasn t keeping my head down orsomething.I just didn t understand how I was messing up.Anyway, from down by your hotel s pool I aimed at Mars, but I landed someplacethat didn t look anything like the part of Mars I knew: no ocher dead seabottom, no hurtling moons, no bizarro green men.Ijumped up and down a couple of times to see if maybe it felt like Martiangravity, but no such luck.Good olMaureen wasn t going to have any help carrying around her heroinely poundagehere.Matter of fact, I was just a teensy bit heftier in this place than onEarth.Right off, I figured wherever this was, it wasn t going to make myshort list of fave vacation spots.MyGod, like who needs a complimentary gift of an extra fifteen pounds to lugaround, know what I mean?I was disappointed, but so what else is new? If these thrilling exploits ofmine have taught me one thing, it s that you can t always get what you want.Yeah, you re right, Bitsy, Mick Jagger said the same thing entire decades ago,Page 65 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlbut I don t get my wisdom from ancient song stylists of our parentsgeneration.The first thing I do when I dew hush in one of these weirdo places is try tosort out the ground rules, cause they re always different.It pays to findout up front if you re likely to be scarfed down for lunch by some hairballmonster, or worshiped as the reincarnation of Joan Crawford or something.Between you and me, sweetie, being worshiped is only marginally better thandeath, but we savage warrior women won taccept either treatment.You must ve learned that much from me by now, and Ihope you ve let your Josh know all about it.Bitsy, can I get something to drink out of your fridge? I mean, I just gotback from saving the civilization of an entire world from destruction, and I mdying for a Tab.Jeez, you don t have any Tab, and you used to be Miss DietBubbles of Greater Long Island [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]