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.He brought a mute Syren to the bathroom and turned on the shower.Normally he d choose a bath, but that would take too long.He undressed himself, turned on the shower spray and looked over his shoulder atSyren.His lover stood with his back to the mirror, not the first time Kane had noticedSyren s reluctance to meet his own reflection.The more he knew about his lover, the more Kane realized he didn t know shit.He helped Syren into the shower and stepped in behind him.Kane went aboutcleaning his lover from head to toe, washing his hair, soaping him down.He took histime over the scars, all of them, and kissed each of them once the soap was washedaway, even dropping to his knees to get those on Syren s hips and the insides of histhighs.Jerky fingers sifted through his hair, the first sign of life from his lover in a longwhile.Kane smothered a smile against Syren s abdomen then stood.Their erectionsbobbed but Kane ignored them, this wasn t about sex and he didn t want to confuseSyren.He offered comfort, his presence, his time and his arms.Once Syren was cleaned, Kane washed himself quickly then carried his lover backinto the bedroom where he dried him off and laid him on the bed, under the covers.Heclimbed in after him and pulled him into his arms, holding Syren tight when he madeas if to escape. Sleep. When next he opened his eyes, sunshine flooded the bedroom and Syren had lefthis arms or drifted away, either way, his lover lay on his stomach on the far side of thebed, one hand hanging off the mattress, his face buried in the pillows.Kane sighed and trailed his gaze down Syren s naked back, all the way past hisdelectable ass.He simply allowed himself to look at the man in his bed, to take in hispresence and his beauty.A lesser man wouldn t be able to deal with the baggage Syrencame with, a lesser man could have lost out on this, the flutter in Kane s chest everytime he laid eyes on Syren.164 A Sinner BornWanting Syren in his life, accepting him in his bed meant also allowing in Marcosand Faro, the men Syren was at some point or another.Needing him meant needingthem.They were all one and the same.How did he help Syren see that? How did hemake his lover understand that it was okay to have the pain, to feel it, but not okay tobe owned and controlled by it?He scrubbed a hand over his face.He didn t know how to do it, how to care aboutsomeone so broken.How did he begin to put Syren back together and could he? Hislover had to see that hurting himself wasn t good, not for either of them.He rosegingerly from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, relieving his bladder thenbrushing his teeth.As he met his eyes in the mirror, the words Syren threw at him thenight before pinged in his brain.If you can t give me what I need, then I don t want you around.I ll find someone willing todo it.Kane winced.They hurt now, in the aftermath.Were they just words, simply hislover s pain and despair talking or something more? Something deeper?He wiped his face and hands and did his best to forget, to put the stress of the nightbefore behind him, but when he stepped into the bedroom and stared into Syren ssleepy eyes, he couldn t.Syren didn t speak and Kane didn t.He went about getting dressed, grabbing hisgun and shield before using his fingers to tame his short hair.He finally turned back toSyren after tugging on his boots and jacket.His lover sat in the middle of the bed, kneeshugged to his chest, skin so pale, eyes bloodshot, white-blond hair a mess.He neverlooked more beautiful to Kane, more sexy and yet so untouchable in that moment. I have to go in to work for a couple hours, he said softly.Syren jerked a nod. Okay. His voice came out sounding rusted.Nothing more was exchanged between them and Kane shook his head slightly.Theawkwardness was new to him, he d never been that way around Syren, but now hewas. Will you be here when I get back? Syren lifted a shoulder, but didn t speak and Kane just wanted to get the hell outtathere. I see. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and looked over his shoulder.Syren appeared so forlorn, so sad and alone in the middle of his bed.Kane ached to goto him, haul him into his arms and wipe away all the bad dreams and pain his lovercarried.Only Syren didn t appear to want him to do any of that. I ll call you. He leftbefore he didn t.Syren occupied most of his thoughts throughout the day and Kane had toconstantly remind himself not to dwell.They d work things out, they would.He wishedhe could call up his brother and talk things out with Gabe, but he couldn t.No waycould he break Syren s confidence.He had no idea what Gabe and Rafe knew aboutSyren s life as Faro, but Kane doubted they knew it all.165 Avril AshtonWhen he wasn t worrying about Syren he had to deal with Vince and his coldshoulder when he wasn t staring daggers at Kane.Thank fuck he was getting out ofthere.He had enough to deal with.He d taken a chance and no way had he envisionedit ending up the way everything had.The mess with Syren made him see how much he d been missing.How much he dmissed taking care of someone, having someone to hold.Syren never had someone likethat, someone to turn to.Despite his closeness with Henri and Isa Kane knew enoughabout his lover to know he wouldn t burden them with his demons.He d work it outhimself.Only, hurting himself more wasn t the answer.They needed to talk.He called Syren on his lunch break, but got his voicemail.He tried again with a textbut didn t get a reply.A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach and he tried to willit away.Nothing bad would happen.Syren wouldn t do anything to seriously harmhimself, would he?Kane remembered the drowning look in his eyes the night before and grabbed hiscar keys and jacket before racing out his office.All the way home he tried calling Syrenand he got no response.Fear made itself known with goose bumps on his skin, his heart in his throat.Whenhe finally got home, he rushed through the house, calling his lover s name and listeningas his words echoed back.Syren was gone.166 A Sinner BornChapter Fourteen Will you answer him? Isa prodded Syren.They sat in a caf in the heart of Paris,Syren doing his best to hide what he was really feeling behind dark glasses and a heavyscarf.Two days since he left Kane s house and he didn t know if he could go back.He dlet it all hang out, the ugly truth about him.His scars.He d shown his true colors andbegged, begged, for Kane to hurt him when he knew his lover would say no.Andfinally the cowardly act, sneaking out of his house when Kane went to work.He had to go back, at least to give Kane the gift he d ordered for his retirement.What else was there? Was he done pretending to be normal?He ignored Isa s words and she kicked him under the table. Coward. I own that. He winced. But ease up on the kicking, goddamn it. She curved her ruby-red lips. Maybe I should meet him, this Kane. She winkedand shifted in her chair [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.He brought a mute Syren to the bathroom and turned on the shower.Normally he d choose a bath, but that would take too long.He undressed himself, turned on the shower spray and looked over his shoulder atSyren.His lover stood with his back to the mirror, not the first time Kane had noticedSyren s reluctance to meet his own reflection.The more he knew about his lover, the more Kane realized he didn t know shit.He helped Syren into the shower and stepped in behind him.Kane went aboutcleaning his lover from head to toe, washing his hair, soaping him down.He took histime over the scars, all of them, and kissed each of them once the soap was washedaway, even dropping to his knees to get those on Syren s hips and the insides of histhighs.Jerky fingers sifted through his hair, the first sign of life from his lover in a longwhile.Kane smothered a smile against Syren s abdomen then stood.Their erectionsbobbed but Kane ignored them, this wasn t about sex and he didn t want to confuseSyren.He offered comfort, his presence, his time and his arms.Once Syren was cleaned, Kane washed himself quickly then carried his lover backinto the bedroom where he dried him off and laid him on the bed, under the covers.Heclimbed in after him and pulled him into his arms, holding Syren tight when he madeas if to escape. Sleep. When next he opened his eyes, sunshine flooded the bedroom and Syren had lefthis arms or drifted away, either way, his lover lay on his stomach on the far side of thebed, one hand hanging off the mattress, his face buried in the pillows.Kane sighed and trailed his gaze down Syren s naked back, all the way past hisdelectable ass.He simply allowed himself to look at the man in his bed, to take in hispresence and his beauty.A lesser man wouldn t be able to deal with the baggage Syrencame with, a lesser man could have lost out on this, the flutter in Kane s chest everytime he laid eyes on Syren.164 A Sinner BornWanting Syren in his life, accepting him in his bed meant also allowing in Marcosand Faro, the men Syren was at some point or another.Needing him meant needingthem.They were all one and the same.How did he help Syren see that? How did hemake his lover understand that it was okay to have the pain, to feel it, but not okay tobe owned and controlled by it?He scrubbed a hand over his face.He didn t know how to do it, how to care aboutsomeone so broken.How did he begin to put Syren back together and could he? Hislover had to see that hurting himself wasn t good, not for either of them.He rosegingerly from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, relieving his bladder thenbrushing his teeth.As he met his eyes in the mirror, the words Syren threw at him thenight before pinged in his brain.If you can t give me what I need, then I don t want you around.I ll find someone willing todo it.Kane winced.They hurt now, in the aftermath.Were they just words, simply hislover s pain and despair talking or something more? Something deeper?He wiped his face and hands and did his best to forget, to put the stress of the nightbefore behind him, but when he stepped into the bedroom and stared into Syren ssleepy eyes, he couldn t.Syren didn t speak and Kane didn t.He went about getting dressed, grabbing hisgun and shield before using his fingers to tame his short hair.He finally turned back toSyren after tugging on his boots and jacket.His lover sat in the middle of the bed, kneeshugged to his chest, skin so pale, eyes bloodshot, white-blond hair a mess.He neverlooked more beautiful to Kane, more sexy and yet so untouchable in that moment. I have to go in to work for a couple hours, he said softly.Syren jerked a nod. Okay. His voice came out sounding rusted.Nothing more was exchanged between them and Kane shook his head slightly.Theawkwardness was new to him, he d never been that way around Syren, but now hewas. Will you be here when I get back? Syren lifted a shoulder, but didn t speak and Kane just wanted to get the hell outtathere. I see. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and looked over his shoulder.Syren appeared so forlorn, so sad and alone in the middle of his bed.Kane ached to goto him, haul him into his arms and wipe away all the bad dreams and pain his lovercarried.Only Syren didn t appear to want him to do any of that. I ll call you. He leftbefore he didn t.Syren occupied most of his thoughts throughout the day and Kane had toconstantly remind himself not to dwell.They d work things out, they would.He wishedhe could call up his brother and talk things out with Gabe, but he couldn t.No waycould he break Syren s confidence.He had no idea what Gabe and Rafe knew aboutSyren s life as Faro, but Kane doubted they knew it all.165 Avril AshtonWhen he wasn t worrying about Syren he had to deal with Vince and his coldshoulder when he wasn t staring daggers at Kane.Thank fuck he was getting out ofthere.He had enough to deal with.He d taken a chance and no way had he envisionedit ending up the way everything had.The mess with Syren made him see how much he d been missing.How much he dmissed taking care of someone, having someone to hold.Syren never had someone likethat, someone to turn to.Despite his closeness with Henri and Isa Kane knew enoughabout his lover to know he wouldn t burden them with his demons.He d work it outhimself.Only, hurting himself more wasn t the answer.They needed to talk.He called Syren on his lunch break, but got his voicemail.He tried again with a textbut didn t get a reply.A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach and he tried to willit away.Nothing bad would happen.Syren wouldn t do anything to seriously harmhimself, would he?Kane remembered the drowning look in his eyes the night before and grabbed hiscar keys and jacket before racing out his office.All the way home he tried calling Syrenand he got no response.Fear made itself known with goose bumps on his skin, his heart in his throat.Whenhe finally got home, he rushed through the house, calling his lover s name and listeningas his words echoed back.Syren was gone.166 A Sinner BornChapter Fourteen Will you answer him? Isa prodded Syren.They sat in a caf in the heart of Paris,Syren doing his best to hide what he was really feeling behind dark glasses and a heavyscarf.Two days since he left Kane s house and he didn t know if he could go back.He dlet it all hang out, the ugly truth about him.His scars.He d shown his true colors andbegged, begged, for Kane to hurt him when he knew his lover would say no.Andfinally the cowardly act, sneaking out of his house when Kane went to work.He had to go back, at least to give Kane the gift he d ordered for his retirement.What else was there? Was he done pretending to be normal?He ignored Isa s words and she kicked him under the table. Coward. I own that. He winced. But ease up on the kicking, goddamn it. She curved her ruby-red lips. Maybe I should meet him, this Kane. She winkedand shifted in her chair [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]