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.I retreat to the table and watch them, smiling at their silly laughter.At one point Stacy turns on the radio which is playing an old, upbeat song from the fifties.“Ugh, horrible music,” Niahm moans.“What? You’re crazy, this is amazing music,” Stacy argues.I have to agree with her.“Come on, Sam,” Stacy laughs, taking my hand and pulling me up.“Let’s show Niahm how great this music is to dance to.”I admit I’m showing off a bit as I twirl her into a swing dance—which she manages to keep up with, apparently having been taught by her dad.That memory is front and center.The entire time, I’m listening to her, watching to see if Niahm has given her any information she shouldn’t have.I skim over memories that aren’t related to Niahm, go a little slower whenever Niahm makes an appearance.Finally I reach their interaction of the past few days, and see that Niahm has kept our secret.I’m a little surprised by Stacy’s acceptance, and her advice to Niahm to keep the secret.It comes completely from a place of love for Niahm.That’s something I can relate to.“Whew!” Stacy exclaims as she drops onto one of the chairs.“You should give some of the boys around here lessons.Where did you learn to dance like that?”Niahm looks at me oddly, and I can’t meet her eyes as I tell the lie.“In New York.They gave us lessons one year in school.”Stacy nods, accepting my words.“Dude, you have the warmest hands of any guy I’ve ever danced with.You don’t have a fever, do you?”I realize I may have overdone it on the brain-picking, not quite sure how to answer.“That’s normal for him,” Niahm says.“He has hot hands.” Then, blushing at her words and Stacy’s laughter, she says, “I mean, his hands are always hot like that.”“Weird,” Stacy proclaims.“I’ve never felt anything like that before, at least on hands that aren’t sweaty in the process.”I look at Niahm, see that she’s watching me, a thoughtful, questioning look on her face.Thank the heavens the oven timer chooses that moment to go off, taking her attention from me.Somehow, though, I don’t think she’s going to forget about Stacy’s words calling her to the fact that the heat she feels from my hands all too frequently isn’t exactly normal.“Stay.”I look at Niahm, for one second wondering if she’s speaking to Bob.But she’s looking right at me.Stacy just announced her intention to leave, after we’ve gorged ourselves sick on the cookies they baked.I stood to leave also when Niahm speaks the word.I can only nod, hoping she wants me to stay for a good reason.Stacy and Niahm hug, then Niahm closes the door behind her.She turns to me, an unsure look on her face.When she hesitates, I say, “If it were possible, I’d probably gain about forty pounds from the amount of cookies I ate.But it’d be worth it.”“You.you can’t get fat?” she asks, surprised.“No.” I hope a simple answer is the best way to keep Niahm from freaking out.“That seems unfair,” is her only response.She walks over to the couch and sits down.I follow and sit in the chair next to the couch.She leans forward, elbows on her thighs, twisting her hands together in front of her.“I wanted to tell you,” she begins, not looking at me.She glances up at me from beneath her lashes, and I’m struck once again by her eyes.I envy her not having to wear contacts to cover their strangeness.She still has enough of a rim for them to appear unusual but not alarming, as mine do.People tend to cringe away from my eyes, as if they can sense something isn’t right with me.She takes a deep breath and blows it out.A trickle of apprehension creeps up my spine.I can’t read her very well right now.I believe she may be trying to find the words to break up with me.I decide to give her a break.It’s the least I can do after everything I’ve put her through.“Niahm, it isn’t easy knowing what you now know,” I say.“I’ve had years of learning to live with it, and it still is hard for me.There isn’t any blame for not wanting to be part of it.I promise.And you know I can’t lie to you,” I smile at her.She’s simply staring at me, a ridge of confusion puckering her brow.“It will be hard to walk away, but I’ll do it.For you.It won’t change my feelings for you at all.But eventually you’ll be able to forget about me, and you’ll have—”I stop when she brings her hand up, palm toward me.“Sam,” she says, shaking her head a little.“Let me finish, okay?”I nod.“I don’t want to forget about you.”A spark of hope ignites.“You.you don’t?”“No,” she laughs.“When I told you I love you, I wasn’t kidding.This is all very weird and sci-fi channelish, and I don’t know what will happen down the road.” She shrugs.“Maybe it will be too much at some point, when I’m getting wrinkles and you’re not, or maybe even before then.I don’t know.There’s a lot to consider.But for now, for today, I’m not ready to give you up.”I slide from the chair so that I’m kneeling in front of her.“Are you saying.?” I take hold of her hands, nearly floored by the wave of feeling she has for me.I can see the confusion beneath it all, see conflicting thoughts of giving up her idealistic future including a family, see her fear of being old and hunched with me next to her looking the same as I do now.I know I should let her go, so that she doesn’t have to deal with those fears, but I’m just selfish enough not to.“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning forward to kiss her.She pulls her hands from mine and wraps her arms tightly around my neck.My own arms about her waist pull her close to me, until she’s kneeling on the floor in front of me, kissing me back with all the passion she has.“I love you,” I say, pulling back to caress her cheek with my thumb.“I love you, too,” she says, kissing me once again.Chapter 47NiahmOn Wednesday, as promised, I go with my girlfriends to the movie.I’ve been wrapped up in Sam for so long that I’ve forgotten how much I like just hanging out, being a silly girl [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.I retreat to the table and watch them, smiling at their silly laughter.At one point Stacy turns on the radio which is playing an old, upbeat song from the fifties.“Ugh, horrible music,” Niahm moans.“What? You’re crazy, this is amazing music,” Stacy argues.I have to agree with her.“Come on, Sam,” Stacy laughs, taking my hand and pulling me up.“Let’s show Niahm how great this music is to dance to.”I admit I’m showing off a bit as I twirl her into a swing dance—which she manages to keep up with, apparently having been taught by her dad.That memory is front and center.The entire time, I’m listening to her, watching to see if Niahm has given her any information she shouldn’t have.I skim over memories that aren’t related to Niahm, go a little slower whenever Niahm makes an appearance.Finally I reach their interaction of the past few days, and see that Niahm has kept our secret.I’m a little surprised by Stacy’s acceptance, and her advice to Niahm to keep the secret.It comes completely from a place of love for Niahm.That’s something I can relate to.“Whew!” Stacy exclaims as she drops onto one of the chairs.“You should give some of the boys around here lessons.Where did you learn to dance like that?”Niahm looks at me oddly, and I can’t meet her eyes as I tell the lie.“In New York.They gave us lessons one year in school.”Stacy nods, accepting my words.“Dude, you have the warmest hands of any guy I’ve ever danced with.You don’t have a fever, do you?”I realize I may have overdone it on the brain-picking, not quite sure how to answer.“That’s normal for him,” Niahm says.“He has hot hands.” Then, blushing at her words and Stacy’s laughter, she says, “I mean, his hands are always hot like that.”“Weird,” Stacy proclaims.“I’ve never felt anything like that before, at least on hands that aren’t sweaty in the process.”I look at Niahm, see that she’s watching me, a thoughtful, questioning look on her face.Thank the heavens the oven timer chooses that moment to go off, taking her attention from me.Somehow, though, I don’t think she’s going to forget about Stacy’s words calling her to the fact that the heat she feels from my hands all too frequently isn’t exactly normal.“Stay.”I look at Niahm, for one second wondering if she’s speaking to Bob.But she’s looking right at me.Stacy just announced her intention to leave, after we’ve gorged ourselves sick on the cookies they baked.I stood to leave also when Niahm speaks the word.I can only nod, hoping she wants me to stay for a good reason.Stacy and Niahm hug, then Niahm closes the door behind her.She turns to me, an unsure look on her face.When she hesitates, I say, “If it were possible, I’d probably gain about forty pounds from the amount of cookies I ate.But it’d be worth it.”“You.you can’t get fat?” she asks, surprised.“No.” I hope a simple answer is the best way to keep Niahm from freaking out.“That seems unfair,” is her only response.She walks over to the couch and sits down.I follow and sit in the chair next to the couch.She leans forward, elbows on her thighs, twisting her hands together in front of her.“I wanted to tell you,” she begins, not looking at me.She glances up at me from beneath her lashes, and I’m struck once again by her eyes.I envy her not having to wear contacts to cover their strangeness.She still has enough of a rim for them to appear unusual but not alarming, as mine do.People tend to cringe away from my eyes, as if they can sense something isn’t right with me.She takes a deep breath and blows it out.A trickle of apprehension creeps up my spine.I can’t read her very well right now.I believe she may be trying to find the words to break up with me.I decide to give her a break.It’s the least I can do after everything I’ve put her through.“Niahm, it isn’t easy knowing what you now know,” I say.“I’ve had years of learning to live with it, and it still is hard for me.There isn’t any blame for not wanting to be part of it.I promise.And you know I can’t lie to you,” I smile at her.She’s simply staring at me, a ridge of confusion puckering her brow.“It will be hard to walk away, but I’ll do it.For you.It won’t change my feelings for you at all.But eventually you’ll be able to forget about me, and you’ll have—”I stop when she brings her hand up, palm toward me.“Sam,” she says, shaking her head a little.“Let me finish, okay?”I nod.“I don’t want to forget about you.”A spark of hope ignites.“You.you don’t?”“No,” she laughs.“When I told you I love you, I wasn’t kidding.This is all very weird and sci-fi channelish, and I don’t know what will happen down the road.” She shrugs.“Maybe it will be too much at some point, when I’m getting wrinkles and you’re not, or maybe even before then.I don’t know.There’s a lot to consider.But for now, for today, I’m not ready to give you up.”I slide from the chair so that I’m kneeling in front of her.“Are you saying.?” I take hold of her hands, nearly floored by the wave of feeling she has for me.I can see the confusion beneath it all, see conflicting thoughts of giving up her idealistic future including a family, see her fear of being old and hunched with me next to her looking the same as I do now.I know I should let her go, so that she doesn’t have to deal with those fears, but I’m just selfish enough not to.“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning forward to kiss her.She pulls her hands from mine and wraps her arms tightly around my neck.My own arms about her waist pull her close to me, until she’s kneeling on the floor in front of me, kissing me back with all the passion she has.“I love you,” I say, pulling back to caress her cheek with my thumb.“I love you, too,” she says, kissing me once again.Chapter 47NiahmOn Wednesday, as promised, I go with my girlfriends to the movie.I’ve been wrapped up in Sam for so long that I’ve forgotten how much I like just hanging out, being a silly girl [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]